How to Keep Going When No One Gets It

Hey Fearless Friend!

Today on Stay Fearless or Die Trying😀 

• Chief Swag Officer is sponsoring Vidcon on June 19th until the 21st- catch us at Booth 1423! Use the code CHIEFSWAG10 for a discount off of your first order here.

• I’ve had to put my head down for the past few weeks and solely focus on Chief Swag Officer and this conference we’re sponsoring so the CT dating events have been put on pause until July, and then we’ll be back in action!

• What’s been happening in Connecticut has literally changed my life. I’ve been building community for years but I never would’ve thought that my tiny hometown would be what would put me on the map. THANK YOU!

• Shop The Connecticut Hat Collection, designed and made right here in CT. Grab your favorite and help support this growing community.

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Let’s talk about what it means to be the first.

The first in your family to go to college.
The first to start a business.
The first to leave your hometown.
The first to choose a path no one else around you understands.

It’s empowering. But it’s also really hard.

Because when you’re the first, there’s no blueprint. No guarantee. And no one in your immediate circle who can tell you, “Yeah, I’ve been there.”

You’re figuring it out as you go—and often, that means carrying the weight of other people’s expectations, fears, or confusion on top of your own.

Breaking Cycles (Without Breaking Relationships)

Sometimes, people will make you feel guilty. They’ll say you’re “changing” or “forgetting where you came from.” That’s their discomfort—not your responsibility to fix.

Being first means navigating those conversations with care, but also with boundaries. You can still love your people and choose a different direction.

Remind yourself: You’re not abandoning anyone. You’re expanding what’s possible for everyone.

Balancing Pride with Imposter Syndrome

Even when you're proud of yourself, there's a voice that whispers, “Do I belong here?”

That voice is imposter syndrome—and it’s especially loud when you’re forging a new path. Because nobody handed you the rulebook. You’re writing it as you go.

You might downplay your achievements, feel out of place, or second-guess every step. That’s normal. And you’re not alone.

But here’s what’s true: You do belong.
You didn’t get lucky. You earned it.
You don’t need permission to take up space in the rooms you’ve worked hard to enter.

You are allowed to be proud and uncertain. You’re allowed to celebrate yourself even when you’re still learning.

👉 Read more on imposter syndrome in my previous newsletter.

How to Keep Going When No One Gets It

Here’s the hardest part: sometimes, the people closest to you won’t understand what you’re doing—or why you’re doing it.

That disconnect can be lonely. But it doesn’t have to be isolating. Here’s how to keep moving forward:

1. Build your chosen family. Seek out people who do get it—mentors, friends, online communities. Find your expanders. Let them remind you that what you’re doing is possible.
   

2. Define success on your terms. Don’t let someone else’s story become your standard. Decide what fulfillment looks like for you. Is it creative freedom? Stability? Impact? Define it, claim it.
   

3. Celebrate the small wins. When you’re the first, everything is a milestone. Don’t wait for the big moments—every boundary you set, every risk you take, every day you keep going is a victory.
   

4. Remember who you’re doing this for. Yes, you. But also for the version of you who didn’t know this was possible—and maybe for someone else who’s watching you quietly, realizing they can do it too.

Finding (or Rebuilding) the Right Support System

Being first doesn’t mean you have to do it all alone. In fact, you can’t.

Sometimes your current circle isn’t equipped to support the version of you that’s evolving—and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean they don’t love you. But it does mean you may need to expand your support system.

Start by asking yourself: Who makes me feel seen, encouraged, and challenged in a healthy way?

Then:

• Look for mentors who’ve walked a similar path.

• Join networking groups, both local and online, that align with your goals.

• Reconnect with people who are growing in similar directions.

• Have honest conversations with friends and family about the kind of support you need—and be open to rebuilding those relationships with new boundaries and mutual understanding.

Creating a support system isn’t about replacing people. It’s about supplementing your foundation so it can hold everything you’re building.

You deserve people in your life who don’t just cheer when you win—but who remind you that you’re worthy even when you’re unsure.

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You’re not selfish for dreaming bigger.
You’re not disloyal for building differently.
You’re not wrong for wanting more.

You're the first. That doesn’t make you the black sheep—it makes you the blueprint.

Stay Fearless or Die Trying,
 💌 Alexa Curtis

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