How NOT To Approach A Mentor

A juicy rendition of Stay Fearless or Die Trying for you on this Fearless Saturday!

I’ve been hosting spaces on X (aka Twitter, connect with me here) and there’s a plethora of questions about mentorship circling. On Thursday Noah and I (my new Twitter friend!) co-hosted a spaces for close to 2 hours about mentorship and so many people asked how to approach a mentor without “looking like an idiot”.

Did you know I’ve never had a proper mentor? Yep, that’s right. I’m a self-taught gal who has been able to convert all my confusion into this business. Years of ups and downs have allowed me to teach you everything I didn’t know when I first started. Besides taxes, don’t ask me to help you with your taxes.

Let’s start with how NOT to approach a mentor!

My face when someone messages me “will you be my mentor” with no further context about why they want me!?

  1. Your mentor is not your therapist. You shouldn’t call your mentor during hours you’re crying about how hard the life of a startup founder is. That’s when you open up a rendition of Stay Fearless or Die Trying or a good book (my favorite is How To Stop Worrying and Be Happy by Dale Carnegie) and cry or laugh.

  2. Seriously, stop asking people to mentor you. It will never be cool to ask someone to mentor you in the same fashion you ask the lady behind the glass at Pinkberry to put strawberries on top of your froyo. Mentorship needs to be nurtured and it needs to be a relationship that grows and continues to grow.

  3. Don’t ask someone to introduce you to their friend whom you want to mentor you if this person you’re asking isn’t your friend! What’s the proper way to use someone? Just kidding, you shouldn’t use people. But I approve of you reaching out to someone and asking for an introduction if you do it in a fashion that’s authentic and kind! Here’s a good example.

“Hi Alexa, I love following you on LinkedIn and would love to touch base soon. I saw you’re friends with (insert name) and I would love to chat with her about some opportunities including mentorship. If you’re open to it, could you please connect us and tell me what I can also do to help any of your projects?”

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